A Big Bus, or, A Small One ?

An EXCEPTIONAL Night  For Human Migration Entertainment on The Vampire Shift.  From time to time, they crawl out of the trailer park to entertain the masses.  Here, are just a few one one particular night.


1)  The Techno Pseudo-Academia World Traveller - Shows up with his high tech Ipad, turns it on and flops it down on the stack of tickets.  On the display, is his online ticket (for those who don't know,  you buy it on line, print it out, and show it with valid picture ID on the day of travel, to make it legit.).  He is told "That's Great!  But I don't think I can stuff that thing in my envelope.  I need a printed copy." TPAWT's Response "They just copy the info".  Driver Response "Not on this trip".   TPAWT's show of High Tech Savvy of Daddy's Wealth is deflated by a quick run to the ticket counter for an emergency linkup to a printer via USB plug.

2)  The Super Stingy Cheapass Traveller - Shows up with her online ticket AND and her return ticket printed on the back.  Since they have to be validated with photo ID and kept by the driver, this posed a dilemma.  Instead of whipping out a 10 dollar bill, flipping it back and forth showing the front and back, and saying "Look Two Tens",  driver signs the one side and makes a note for the next driver.  <sigh>  Oh to be THAT Cheap.

3) The Anti-Educated Geographically Challenged Luggage Shipper - Shows up without a luggage tag on her bag.  Driver gives her a tag and tells her to fill it out (You know, Contact Info, Phone, and Travel Location).  AEGCLS opts not to fill anything out and asks the driver.  "Do I need to fill this tag out?.  Driver responds with "Not at all, where would you like it to go?" AEGCLS returns with "Doesn't matter".  With that, the Driver  says "Great!  Put it over there and we will ship it to Ontario on the next bus".   Geo-Genius quickly fills out the tag after borrowing a pen from the Driver.

4)  The Homeless, Moneyless, Clueless, Sympathy Inducing Traveller - Approaches the driver and states his case.  "Are you going to XXXX? I have no money and would like to get there, can you drive me there?".   Driver response,  "Nope, but you can go to the truck stop and ask if one of them can take you to XXXX, but it might cost you your virginity".   In the morning.  HMCSIT still had the same piece of real estate he kept warm the previous night.    HMCSIT still had his cherry apparently.

5)  The J. Wellington Wimpy Moneyless Negotiator - Approaches the Driver and states his case.  "I need to get to XXXXXXXford, have no money, but I will pay you tomorrow."  Driver, (remember, this all happened in one 7 hour period, LAUGHS, not in a humiliating way, but more in a flashback to the Popeye character, J. Wellington Wimpy, would be proud  of this guy - "I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday For A Hamburger Today" Way)  Huk huk huk....  Well Blow-sk Me-sk Down, Olive-sk.......  "NO"

6)  The Road Rash Assault Victim Making His Way Across the Continent For Free Traveller - Approaches the driver and introduces himself with a firm handshake.  States his case 'I was robbed in XXXXary after I didn't give some guys 3 cigarettes.  I only had enough money to get to XXXXlden, and need to get to XXXXouver'.  ( A little background info.  This guy's face looked like it had been dragged across the full length of barbwire on the perimeter of Auschwitz concentration camp, drop kicked by a band of merry Goose Steppers and accidentally stuck his own finger in his eye).  Driver response "Do you have a ticket?".   Road Rash shows his ticket from XXXXary to XXXXlden.  Driver response "How did you get HERE? (obviously not in XXXXlden).   Road Rash (and I kid-you-not, a tear rolling down his cheek)  says "The kind hearted previous driver".   Driver "Well you will have to wait in the depot for the next kind hearted driver".

GAWD,  If the bosses knew the entertainment value of this job was this valuable, they would make em do it for free.  Ahhhhhh  the life of a Vampire.

NOTE:  The names were changed to protect the innocent.  However, the picture is very close. (not the vampire one)

Dumbass of the Day

While on route to XXXXXX.   A passenger frantically scrambles up to the driver of the bus and says.

Passenger:  I smell burning paper.

Driver:  Sure it isn't someone smoking in the washroom?

Passenger:   No, It is definitely burning paper.

Driver pulls over and investigates.  As he approaches the washroom of the bus the Passengers says.

Passenger:  I found out what it was, some one was burning paper to warm/dry his feet.

(No one would give the Dumbass up)

Dumbass Conversation of the Day

After loading 26 passengers at the start of the trip, the bus heads to the first stop.  Nine people get on the 54 passenger bus (Quick Math 26 + 9 = 35, leaving 19 seats.  17 if you don't count the 2 seats directly behind the driver for his personal belongings).  After several minutes two passengers get off and tell the driver:

Dumbass:   There are no empty seats.

Driver:   WHAT?  There should be lots of them.

Idjit:  Nope.

<Driver steps onto the bus and notices there is an empty seat next to the blonde (good looking I might add) in the first seat, and empty seat in row two, two empty seats in row 3 and more all the way to the back.

Driver gets off  the bus and says:  There are all kinds of them, so grab one.  <Dumbass and Idjit get back on the bus, and the driver points out all the seats.  Chuckles come from the other passengers, including the blonde in the first row>

Driver:  See!  There are lots of them.

Idjit grabs the massive lock securing the driver's backpack to the seat behind the driver's seat and says:  Can I sit here?

(Must be afraid of blondes)

NOTE:  The names weren't changed to protect the innocent.

Conversation of the Day


(The names were changed to protect the innocent.)

Bus Driver upon arriving in Abbotsford (to a would-be passenger):  Hello,  Where are you heading?


Wannabe Passenger:  Vancouver, but I need a ticket, can I buy it from you?


Bus Driver:  Nope, but if you give me a piece of ID, when you get into Vancouver, you can run in and buy your ticket, then we can switch.


Wannabe <Digs out ID, and hands it to the driver>


Bus Driver <Looks at ID for authenticity>:  Good.  Like I said, when you get into Vancouver, run in and get a ticket, I'll wait by the bus.


Wannabe reaches for the ID, to take it back.


Bus Driver:   I'll hold onto it, for ransom, I have had people skip on me.


Wannabe:  But I wasn't going to skip.   <Reaches for the ID again, with a puzzled look>


Bus Driver <Realizing the Wannabe isn't grasping the concept, hands the ID back>:  Ok, Lets try it again.   Hello, Where are you heading?


Wannabe Passenger:  Vancouver, but I need a ticket, can I buy it from you?


Bus Driver:  Nope, you have to buy your ticket from the depot here.  They open in 30 minutes, you can catch the next bus.


Wannabe:  If I give you my ID to hold, can I get my ticket when I get into Vancouver?


Bus Driver <Taking the ID and putting it into his pocket>:  Yep 


(A Genius is Born)

Star Trails

I took this photograph from my back yard using the trees as a focal point.   I used a Nikon D200, with the Noise Reduction setting ON, ISO 200, Manual mode, f4.0, and BULB setting. Manual focus on the lens and camera.  The lens was a 17-55mm set at 17mm, with the hood on.  Tripod was a Gitzo 5541, with a modified quick release for the camera.  I used a Nikon DR-6  -  right angle viewfinder (so I don't have to lay on the ground to view).  I used the cap from a forstner bit (wood working drill bit) painted black, placed on the viewfinder, to prevent light from sneaking in from the viewfinder. A pop / soda bottle top could work too.  The remote was a programmable Nikon MC-36, set with a 4 second delay (to allow for mirror vibration), and 25 minute exposure.  I had an AC adapter for the camera attached to an added accessory, a battery backup I bought for jump starting a car in emergencies.  This would save my batteries since a 25 minute exposure will eat most of the battery on a D200.  Not to mention the noise reduction process afterward.  NOTE:  When setting the focus, DO NOT assume that infinity symbol on the lens is the end of the line.  I haven't found one yet that does that.  There will always be a bit of play in it.  During daylight, you can setup your shot, focus on infinity using autofocus, then shut it off.   Take note where that infinity symbol is in case it gets moved during the night.  The darker the sky, the better.  If you can find a place 50 miles away from the city, perfect.  This is sometimes impractical, since few people want to travel that far to take one, or two pictures. Closer to the city I prefer after midnight (closer to 2 - 3 am) photography, when some of the city lights are off when people go to bed. If there is light (moon, street lights etc) change the f-stop to something higher.   This photo was taken with f4.0 and turn out a bit too light so I changed the exposure in Photoshop to compensate.  Ideally, I should have had it set at f8 or f11.  Will try that next time.

Balloons - Howell, Michigan

Cardinal