An EXCEPTIONAL Night For Human Migration Entertainment on The Vampire Shift. From time to time, they crawl out of the trailer park to entertain the masses. Here, are just a few one one particular night.
1) The Techno Pseudo-Academia World Traveller - Shows up with his high tech Ipad, turns it on and flops it down on the stack of tickets. On the display, is his online ticket (for those who don't know, you buy it on line, print it out, and show it with valid picture ID on the day of travel, to make it legit.). He is told "That's Great! But I don't think I can stuff that thing in my envelope. I need a printed copy." TPAWT's Response "They just copy the info". Driver Response "Not on this trip". TPAWT's show of High Tech Savvy of Daddy's Wealth is deflated by a quick run to the ticket counter for an emergency linkup to a printer via USB plug.
2) The Super Stingy Cheapass Traveller - Shows up with her online ticket AND and her return ticket printed on the back. Since they have to be validated with photo ID and kept by the driver, this posed a dilemma. Instead of whipping out a 10 dollar bill, flipping it back and forth showing the front and back, and saying "Look Two Tens", driver signs the one side and makes a note for the next driver. <sigh> Oh to be THAT Cheap.
3) The Anti-Educated Geographically Challenged Luggage Shipper - Shows up without a luggage tag on her bag. Driver gives her a tag and tells her to fill it out (You know, Contact Info, Phone, and Travel Location). AEGCLS opts not to fill anything out and asks the driver. "Do I need to fill this tag out?. Driver responds with "Not at all, where would you like it to go?" AEGCLS returns with "Doesn't matter". With that, the Driver says "Great! Put it over there and we will ship it to Ontario on the next bus". Geo-Genius quickly fills out the tag after borrowing a pen from the Driver.
4) The Homeless, Moneyless, Clueless, Sympathy Inducing Traveller - Approaches the driver and states his case. "Are you going to XXXX? I have no money and would like to get there, can you drive me there?". Driver response, "Nope, but you can go to the truck stop and ask if one of them can take you to XXXX, but it might cost you your virginity". In the morning. HMCSIT still had the same piece of real estate he kept warm the previous night. HMCSIT still had his cherry apparently.
5) The J. Wellington Wimpy Moneyless Negotiator - Approaches the Driver and states his case. "I need to get to XXXXXXXford, have no money, but I will pay you tomorrow." Driver, (remember, this all happened in one 7 hour period, LAUGHS, not in a humiliating way, but more in a flashback to the Popeye character, J. Wellington Wimpy, would be proud of this guy - "I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday For A Hamburger Today" Way) Huk huk huk.... Well Blow-sk Me-sk Down, Olive-sk....... "NO"
6) The Road Rash Assault Victim Making His Way Across the Continent For Free Traveller - Approaches the driver and introduces himself with a firm handshake. States his case 'I was robbed in XXXXary after I didn't give some guys 3 cigarettes. I only had enough money to get to XXXXlden, and need to get to XXXXouver'. ( A little background info. This guy's face looked like it had been dragged across the full length of barbwire on the perimeter of Auschwitz concentration camp, drop kicked by a band of merry Goose Steppers and accidentally stuck his own finger in his eye). Driver response "Do you have a ticket?". Road Rash shows his ticket from XXXXary to XXXXlden. Driver response "How did you get HERE? (obviously not in XXXXlden). Road Rash (and I kid-you-not, a tear rolling down his cheek) says "The kind hearted previous driver". Driver "Well you will have to wait in the depot for the next kind hearted driver".
GAWD, If the bosses knew the entertainment value of this job was this valuable, they would make em do it for free. Ahhhhhh the life of a Vampire.
NOTE: The names were changed to protect the innocent. However, the picture is very close. (not the vampire one)
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