Bruster's Blog: 2014

HIGHLIGHTS 2013

After, over a year, of battles with Explorer and its settings refusing to let me on my blog to post things, I will give it a try with Chrome. Since an error message keeps popping up ever 4 - 5 minutes, I have little faith.

Here are the highlights of 2013 (although not in chronological order)

1) JOHNNY "CHAOS" TOUR

I've known John and his wife Deb for 30 years. If you have ever heard the joke about the guy who knows EVERYONE, its about John, ...... and its no joke. John knows EVERYONE. Just ask the Pope. Anyway, through divorces, raising kids and going our separate ways, we lost touch.

One night after work I was flipping though Facebook and got so discussed with all the lame crap people put on their Facebook pages, 'bored, going to bed', 'lousy day at work', ' nothing new, lottery winnings down to 9.9 mill' etc., I thought I would spice it up, so I posted the following in jest:

"WORLD TOUR UPDATE: Today, we made our final push to the summit of Everest. -68C. My defiant act of peeing from the top of the world, resulted in frostbite rendering my schlong into a schlort. ..... The wounds from last week's mauling are healing nicely. I am a hero in the eyes of the Toobootoo tribe. However, after updating my Toobootoo to English translator app for the Iphone5, I have since learned I was to be the Guest of Honour for the Annual Sibubbu Tree Planting Festival, NOT, the focus of the Siberian Tiger Chase and Ball Grab ..... [NOTE TO SELF - give that app a rating of one star only.] ..... I am excited about next week's search for the Blue Hairless Pigmy Yeti, of the Andes Mountains, with my trusted Weinerdawg, Frank. "

If you don't know me personally, I did that for MY benefit, and amusement. Nothing more. Afterall, if you DO know me, you know there is no such thing as a TRUSTED weinderdawg, since my near death mauling.

Still laughing at my own creativity, I get a call on the phone. Normally, if it is an Unknown caller, I just don't answer (HINT TO TELEMARKETERS THERE). For some odd reason, the number looked vaguely familar, so I answered. In a distant voice I heard "are you REALLY making your final push to the summit of Everest?". In Bruster fashion, I started on a tirade about boring Facebook posts, and how I did it for my own amusement, and, oh by the way, who is this? It was John.

We chatted for a while, catching up on what was new in our lives, and made tentative arrangements to hook up one way or another, on my upcoming vacation to Ontario. We did just that. We hung out for a couple days, visited wineries in the Niagara region, (FACT: Okanagan wines are superior, except for FOREIGN AFFAIR wines). We have rekindled our friendship. I must say it feels like I have found my long lost brother and sister.

Deb, Me, Denise, and John on the Niagara Wine Tour

Johnny 'CHAOS'

2. ONTARIO TOUR

Vacations to Ontario are anything but relaxing. Visited with my Inlaws, my sister Carole and her husband, Joe, although only briefly, and my buddy Richard and his wife Debra in Windsor.

Took a drive up the St. Clair River where I spent 25 years diving.

Ate Panzarottis at Tony's in London. While there, I tried to get Tony to give me the recipe for his dough. To no avail. His son did suggest a West Coast Opportunity for a franchise might be worth investigating.

Dinner in Mexican Town, in Detroit, er .... what's left of Detroit.

Walked along the river front in downtown Windsor.

Had a party for my Mother In Law's Birthday, got to see my new niece, Kennedy, and my Brother in Law, Bill.

Two weeks and it still wasn't enough time. Never is.

My Inlaws, Jim, Isabel, and my lovely wife, Denise

3. ARCHERY

Got a gift cert for my B-day, for some archery lessons / weaponry. After about an hour of expert training, I was the proud owner of a new compound bow, ready for hunting big game. But there was a catch. The tips of the carbon arrows were glued in and needed to be stationary for 24 hours. New Toy? No Play? Dang. Since it was winter, and in the afternoon when I got it, that meant I couldn't play until the next day, and it gets dark early. The following day it was pouring rain, still no sign of playing with my new toy in the great outdoors where the deer and the targets roam. I decided to practice in the garage. Now, The one thing I actually remembered my instructor saying was, "When you release the arrow, it should surprise you". WELL, releasing didn't surprise me, but punching a hole through the garage door (4 inches thick), sure did.

I have since discovered I am to be nominated for the Guiness Book of World Records, for the largest garage door taken by bow and arrow. I'll post pics of it when it comes back from the taxidermist.

I finally took it to the 'official' range and tried my luck. This was the first time with a compound bow.

Was motivated enough that I actually made my own takedown longbow.

Yup those DO look like skis, Cross Country skis to be exact.

Denise liked it so much I made her one too. Hers is right-handed.

More skis have been sacrificed for hers.

No animals have been harmed in the making of these bows, however, an Urban Compost Bin has been bagged, and my retaining wall suffered from testing. I was so proud of my creations, I thought I would try my luck at making a fletching jig. That's the thingie you put the feathers on the arrows with. Now since I had never done any fletching, seen a fletching jig, or had any concept of how to design it, I guessed. I knew you could put 2, 3 and even 4 feathers on the arrows, and I wanted my jig to be as versatile as possible, I created the UBER-jig.

Surprisingly, it works. Now on to more projects. I think a Crossbow is in order.

4. AQUAPONICS

Yup, that's right, aquaponics. In brief, you have fish, fish poop, the poopy water is pumped into the growbeds, the plants eat the poop buffet, then poop themselves, the plant poop is pumped back into the fish tank and the fish eat the plant poop.

This can be a shock to family members. And it was. In fact, I was teased relentlessly by my Uncle and Sister. Some History. My Dad had 52 fish tanks. Is hobby not ours. He would make my sister and I help him clean the stinky tanks. Carole and I swore we would never have fish. Hell, I couldn't even eat fish for about 30 years. Now, I tell them I am going to get some fish? HA. More history, my first wife wanted a garden in Clay Ground Central. I had to get a rototiller to scrape the top surface of the clay to even plant anything. Needless to say, I don't like getting dirt under my nails. Enter my new, improved, favourite wife, Denise. She showed me an aquaponics set up you could have in your home. I liked it. She was an avid gardener who produced lots of veggies for consumption, so I made her a deal, I do the aquaponics, and help her with the garden, in return? Hell I can't remember what the return was, but I ended up getting a little dirt under my nails helping. We ended up with 11 4'x4' growbeds in the back yard, a greenhouse in the front driveway, and 3 (so far) cold frames that are still producing kale even in January. I also am about to harvest a few habanero peppers that showed up in the little greenhouse. All in all, it was quite the harvest. Lots of peppers, beans, peas, squash, tomatoes (60 plants).

Now to get everything ready for 2014. Going to make a bigger greenhouse, more coldframes, and back off the number of peppers, since only I eat them.

Oh and the fishes? I started with 30 in January 2013, I still have 5, and they are fat assed fish, I'll tell ya. A plan is in the works for a bigger system outside in the new greenhouse, since aquaponics makes the plants grow about 5x faster than out in the dirt.

5. STAY TUNED FOR MORE: GRAHAM COMES TO VISIT, KITTY KAT KANBANS, TRAILER CONVERSION - BUNKER ON WHEELS, DENISE TAKES UP ARMS (SHOTGUN AND .308 RIFLE, MORE RETAINING WALLS, and BUGGING OUT IN THE MOUNTAINS

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